Assimilated Paraodx
by MysticalCraven
Summary: mild language...made purely for a few good laughs (characters aren't necessarily portrayed accurately)


  
  
*Trunks has just finished building his time machine*   
  
  
"Are you sure this thing is safe?"   
"Relax, you taught me everything you know, remember? I'll be fine."   
"I'm sure you will be; just promise me you won't do anything stupid, like that bullheaded father of yours."   
"Don't worry, nothing bad is going to happen. I'm gonna make sure of that."   
  
Trunks got in his time machine and headed off more determined than ever to make things right. But to his surprise, he landed in an open field.   
  
"This isn't right. I was supposed to be in the same spot I was when I left."   
  
But this was definitely not the case. He began wondering what went wrong, and finally decided to find out exactly where he did end up. So he got out of the time machine and started heading off in the direction of a noise he heard from off in the distance. What he found was a couple of women arguing.   
  
"I don't know how you always end up talking me into these things! Can't we ever just spend our days off relaxing?"   
"All you ever want to do is lounge around like a bump on a log. You know, it is nice being able to get some fresh air every once in a while. Besides, we're getting really close. They've got to be around here somewhere."   
"Enough with the damn flowers, we're never going to find em!"   
"WAAAAAHHH"   
"Argh! Tell ya what, why don't we go back? We can go to karaoke."   
  
Just then Trunks interrupted the two of them.   
  
"Ehem…I don't mean to get in the way, but can either of you two tell me where I am?"   
  
They both glance over at him with a confused look.   
  
"You're in an open field just outside of town, silly."   
"I can see that…wait, what town?"   
"Tokyo….."   
"Tokyo?" (now Trunks was confused)   
  
Kiyone speaks up.   
  
"You're not from around here, are you?"   
"No, I guess not. ….. Um, where exactly is Tokyo?"   
"What?!?"   
"I've never heard of it before."   
"How could you possibly be here and not know anything about were you're at? People don't just fall out of the sky you know."   
"Hey, maybe he's a traveler from outer space!" Mihoshi screeched with excitement.   
"I bet that's it, isn't it? Can we see your space ship?"   
"I…er…my space ship, huh. I suppose so, but you have to help me out."   
"I knew it! He is an astronaut. ….. We're galaxy police, you know."   
  
They walked over to Trunk's time machine, and Mihoshi and Kiyone both looked at it like it was some sort of adequated piece of junk.   
  
"This is your space ship? It looks like a toy I had growing up. ….. I didn't even know they still made crap like this."   
"Hey, that's not very nice. Maybe he built it himself."   
"Maybe his dog built it."   
  
Trunks just stands there with a sweat drop on his forehead.   
  
"Not to rain on your parade pal, but did this thing come with a bag of oil-dry? If it didn't it should have."   
"Well, it may not be the biggest or the most powerful, but it gets me where I'm going."   
"And that's why you ended up in a place you know nothing about, right? Seems to me that the navigation mechanism on this thing is shot. That is, if it even has navigation capabilities."   
  
Just then he realized what had happened.   
"There must have been some sort of malfunction that took me off course. I must have landed me farther out than I was supposed to go." He thought to himself.   
Just then Mihoshi spoke up again.   
  
"Hey, I have an idea. Why don't we take him to go see Washu? She can fix his navigation system for him. ….. She's a genius, she can do anything!"   
"I'm not so sure about that, Mihoshi. You know how she is; she's not going to want to waste her time on this guy…no offence."   
"Oh, come on. You were the one that said you wanted to do something today. It'll be fun. Besides, he's pretty cute." *giggles*   
  
"Alright, fine. But after that, we're going home. ….. By the way stud, you got a name?"   
"Trunks."   
"Trunks? You must have had some pretty cruel parents to end up with a name like that."   
  
They then headed off in search of Washu.  
  
  
  
*The DBZ universe and the Tenchi Universe aren't the only one's being effected*   
  
  
  
(Pokemon)   
*We see ash, Misty, and Brock walking through the woods*   
  
"So Brock, how much farther until we get there?"   
"Not too far. According to my map, it should be just past that river up ahead."   
"Great, I'm starving."   
"Pika"  
"Yeah, me too…besides, it'll be nice to be able to sleep in a bed again."   
  
Just then two familiar figures jump down out of a tree.   
  
"Prepare for trouble."   
"And make it double."   
"Oh, not you two again. Don't you guys ever learn?"   
"Hey, we're trying to do a monologue here."   
"I don't have time for this…Pikachu, thunder attack!"   
*silence*   
"Pikachu?"   
  
  
  
(Neon Genesis Evangelion)   
*Shinji is inside Eva unit 01, apparently just training*   
  
"Shinji, there seems to be a problem; your synch ratio just went way down. We need to find out what's going on. We may need to make a few adjustments."   
"I understand"   
"Pika?"   
"Huh?"   
  
He looks over at the strange yellow creature that seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Shinji has a puzzled look on his face, as does pikachu.   
  
"There's something in here with me."   
"What?"   
"It appears to be some sort of rodent."   
"Alright people, let's shut this thing down. (under breath) A rodent?"   
  
  
  
(DBZ)   
*Z fighters are watching as Goku fights Cell*   
  
Goku finally decides to forfeit, and tells Cell he's going to let Gohan fight him. But Gohan isn't anywhere in sight.   
  
*unknown swamp*   
  
Gohan finds himself in an area that he's never seen before, and isn't sure about how he got there. Not too far from where he's standing, he can see a Namek that he doesn't recognize.   
  
"Hhmmm…that's weird, I thought I knew all of the Namekians." He thinks to himself.   
"Maybe he knows what's going on."   
  
Just then the Namekian turns towards Gohan.   
  
"Ah, this must be the one I was told about." He thinks to himself.   
  
They both start walking towards each other. The small Namekian is the first to say something.   
  
"Ah yes, the force is strong in this one."   
"The force?"   
"You know not of the force? Come, tech you I will."   
  
  
  
(Tenchi)   
*Mihoshi, Kiyone, and Trunks are talking to Washu*   
  
"This had better be important."   
"Our friend here is having problems with the navigation system on his space ship. Can you help him fix it?"   
"What?!? I'm in the middle of what could be the biggest discovery ever, and you're worried about some silly navigation system! I don't have time for this. Get out!"   
  
Trunks speaks up.   
  
"What kind of discovery?"   
"Humph, do you really think I'm going to share something this big with the likes of you? I doubt you'd even be able to understand the complexity of such matters."   
"Does it have anything to do with the time-space continuum?   
  
Washu just got quiet, and stared at him for a second.   
  
"What do know about the time-space continuum?"   
"That depends…how much do you know about?"   
"Let's put it this way: I'm the smartest person in the entire universe. I know everything about inter-dimensional travel."   
"If you know everything about it, then what did you mean by discovery?"   
*scowls* "If you must know…I'm in the process of looking into something that goes beyond normal dimensional stuff. According to some readings I've recently come across, there seems to be a rip in the time-space continuum that stretches well past its limits."   
"Meaning?"   
"Meaning, there's the possibility that the universe is more layered than I thought. From what I'm seeing here, it looks almost as if there's an entirely different set of dimensions lying adjacent to our own…a series of alternate realities, if you will."   
"You're saying there are other 'existences' like this one?"   
"Simply put, yes. ….. I've come across a rip in the very fabric of the universe that's causing these alternate existences, as you like to call them, to collide."   
"Collide?"   
(completely ignoring Trunks) "I knew I could manipulate these sorts of things. Hell, I could even create sub-dimensional domains…but this is huge. If I could only find a way to stabilize it, I could expand to other realities. I'd be unstoppable."   
"What do you mean by stabilize?"   
"Urgh, haven't you left yet! Look, this rip is getting bigger and I need to find a way to stop it. If I don't, all of these different realities are going to meld into one."   
  
Just then, trunks realized what was going on.   
  
(talking to himself) "So that's what happened. ….. But how do I fix it?"   
"What are you mumbling about over there, space boy?"   
"Uh…"   
"You know something I don't, don't you?"   
"Well…I…er…"   
"Come on, cough it up! What do you know about this?"   
"I think I might be the one responsible for all of this."   
(Mihoshi, Kiyone, and Washu all at the same time) "What?!?"   
"How could you possibly be the one responsible for something like this?"   
"It's kind of a long story."   
"Well, make it quick; we haven't got much time!"   
  
  
  
(DBZ)   
*Master Roshi's place: he's watching an exercise show on TV*   
  
"Oh yeah…come on, just a little higher now. ….. That's the money shot right there."   
  
Just then the channel switched to some sort of cooking show.   
  
(TV) "Now what we're going to do is add about 40 cloves of garlic."   
"Change it back, change it back!"   
"You have the controller."   
  
He began frantically switching through every channel…ever single one had the same show on it.   
  
(TV) "Oh yeah…babe…doesn't tha…t just…smell…great…What d…o you say…we kic…k it up…a notch?...Bam!"   
  
"What's going on here?!?"   
"I don't know. This is weird."   
  
  
  
(Ayeka's place)   
*She's in the middle of dinner when a woman burst in through the door*   
  
"Who the hell are you, and what are you doing in my palace?"   
Your palace?!? Look lady, I don't know who you are or what you're doing here, but this is definitely not your palace."   
"Who do you think you are, talking to me like that?!? I am Princess Nayamiko…and I don't appreciate you acting as if you owned the place."   
"I do own the place!...This is my palace, and you are not welcome here. Now get out before I call the guards!"   
  
Just then another individual enters the room. Ayeka speaks up:   
  
"Who are you?"   
"My name is Chichiri."   
"Where are all of these people coming from? Why aren't my guards doing anything???"   
"Excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt, but what exactly is going on here? All I know is that one minute I'm fighting Nakago, and then all of the sudden I'm here."   
"Wait your turn mister; I have a score to settle with this impostor. ….. As for you, you poor excuse for royalty, you had better come clean with me. Why are you here, and what in god's name did you do to my palace? The decorations you put up are atrocious."   
"I already told you, I live here…and there's nothing wrong with my decorations. If there's anything in this room that's atrocious, it's your dress. Where did you get that from a costume shop?"   
Oh that's it bitch, you're going down!"   
  
  
  
(Pokemon)   
*Ash is frantically searching for Pikachu; Team Rocket is trying to find it first*   
  
"Come on Jessie, we're never going to find that Pikachu. Face it, he's gone."   
"That little twerp must be trying to trick us. I bet he's long gone by now. Argh!"   
"Pikachu!"   
"He found him! Come on, let's get em."   
  
Just then, Vegeta appears out of nowhere. Team Rocket stops in their tracks.   
  
"What? Where am I?"   
"Who's that?"   
"I don't know…where did he come from?"   
"Who cares, let's get out of here!"   
(Jessie and James together) "Right."   
  
Vegeta notices both of them, and approaches.   
  
"Hey, who are you…and where am I?"   
"Um…quick, use your Pokemon!"   
  
Jessie and James both throw out all of their Pokemon.   
  
"Koffing, smog attack!"   
  
The area fills with smoke, and Team Rocket gets away.   
  
"Do you really think it'll be that easy!?! When I find you two, I'm gonna kill you both, as well as all of your little animals!"   
  
  
  
(unknown swamp)   
  
"So that's why I'm so powerful; my midi-chlorian level is way above normal."   
"Yes, that it is. Much, have I to teach you. Come, learn you must about combat...vital to your survival, it will be."   
  
  
  
(Gundam)   
*Eva unit 00 suddenly appears in the middle of the battle field*   
  
"Holy crap, what is that thing?!?"   
"I don't know…but, it looks sort of like a Gundam."   
  
(Rei, inside her entry plug)   
"They look sort of like Evangelion, but they don't have an AT field. ….. I wonder if this is a test. Perhaps, they are my enemy."   
  
"Well I'm not sticking around to find out."   
  
The Deathscythe rushes towards unit 00, and is quickly destroyed.   
  
"Wow! That thing is powerful."   
"I don't know about you guys, but I can't just sit here and be killed. I'm outta here."   
"Damn you Wufei! If we're going to beat this thing, we need to work together."   
"No we don't; the Tallgeese has already determined a weakness. I can take this thing down, no problem."   
"Wait!..."   
  
Trieze was taken down just as easy…leaving only Quatra and Heero. (Wufei is long gone)   
  
"This thing is unstoppable."   
"Maybe so, but I have to at least give it a shot."   
"Alright, but if you're going to try, I'm coming with."   
  
The two of them attack, Heero head on and Quatra from the back. Rei turns around, and tears the Sandrock limb from limb. Heero, in a furious rage, slashes away at unit 00 with his Beam Saber. He tears right through the AT field, and slices the entry plug in two; doing away with Rei at the same time.   
  
  
  
(Tenchi)   
*Mihoshi, Kiyone, Washu, and Trunks are standing next to Trunk's time machine*   
  
"I can't believe this thing could cause so much damage. It looks like something Mihoshi would build. ….. I'm surprised it even got off the ground. Although, that would describe why it didn't work. ….. You know, you really should learn about these sorts of things before you start crashing dimensional realities."   
"Hey, it should have worked. I don't know what I did wrong."   
"Humph, that just proves how much you know. It's obvious that you have these wires all mixed up…but that still doesn't explain how this thing even did anything in the first place."   
"The flux capacitor."   
  
Everyone turns around towards the new voice. They see a wild-eyed man with a crazy hair style.   
  
"It seems like you have way too much power going to it."   
"Wow, are you from another reality?"   
"What did you say? The flux, what?"   
"The flux capacitor. That's what makes time travel possible in the first place."   
"I never put in a flux capitulator."   
"That's capacitor…and it's right there. You see, it's that little thing with the flashing lights."   
"Oh, I've never heard it referred to as a capacitor before…how do you know how this thing works?"   
"I should know how it works; I invented it…how much power do you have going to that thing anyway?"   
"About 120 jigowatts."   
"What?!?...No wonder it's not working; I'm surprised this thing didn't explode. How did you get it to remain stable?"   
"I used a super-compacted metal from the future."   
"Hhmmm…interesting. Now, let me see if I've got this right. You over powered the flux capacitor and nearly destroyed the entire time-space continuum in the process, right?"   
"Um…I guess it was something like that."   
"And now you don't know how to reverse it. Umph, amateurs."   
"Hey, who are calling an amateur!?! This guy maybe, but I'm the smartest being in the universe!"   
"So then why don't you fix it?"   
  
  
  
(DBZ)   
*Goku's fighting Cell; Krillin and Yamcha are talking*   
  
"Man, now that Gohan and Vegeta are both gone, we don't stand a chance."   
"Hey we still got Goku, he can defeat Cell."   
"I'm not so sure about that. Remember what that guy said? He made it sound like we're goners."   
  
(Strange man's voice)   
"Next time on DragonBallZ: it seems as though our hero has met his end, but what's this? Could it be the return of Vegeta and Gohan? Maybe Cell is forced to self detonate. What exactly is that giant flash of light??? And more importantly, who will be the victor? Find out in the next exciting episode of DragonBallZ!"   
  
"Man, I don't know who that guy is, but he sure knows a lot!"   
"Tell me about it…but what does he mean by a giant flash of light?"   
"I don't know. Maybe Goku transforms again."   
"That's impossible; he's already a super sayjin. There's nothing higher than that."   
"Come on Yamcha; we're the good guys, remember? There's no way they can kill us off."   
"What do you mean? You've already been killed before."   
"Yeah, but I was brought back by the Dragonballs."   
"And what do you mean by they, anyway? Who are you talking about?"   
  
  
  
(Neon Genesis Evangelion)   
*Shinji is in his room with Pikachu, who has now become his pet*   
  
"You're a lot like me, aren't you? I don't really have much of a family either."   
"Pika?"   
"You're probably the only one that understands me."   
"Shinji…you're not playing with that thing again, are you?"   
  
Misato opens the door.   
  
"Shinji?...Argh, what have I told you about that?"   
"But Misato, he doesn't have a home. Besides, I need him."   
"He doesn't get along with PenPen. Besides, that thing could be carrying some sort of disease, or something."   
"Can he at least stay here tonight? I'll give him to Kensuke in the morning."   
"Fine…by the way, dinner's ready."   
  
PenPen sneaks into Shinji's room while they're eating, and picks a fight with Pikachu. Pikachu runs away and is immediately found by Vegeta.   
  
"You're one of those little creatures, aren't you?"   
  
Pikachu saps Vegeta with his most powerful thunder attack. Vegeta just laughs.   
  
"Do you honestly think that puny attack would even scratch me?...pathetic."   
  
Vegeta raises his hand, and turns Pikachu into dust with a single energy blast.   
  
"This is too easy. I'll conquer this planet in no time."   
  
Just then Israfel appeared.   
  
"Now that looks like a challenge!"   
  
Vegeta blasts through the angel with little effort, only to realize there were two of them. He then kills off the other one, only to realize the first has gotten back up again.   
  
"How in the hell do you kill these damn things?!?"   
  
  
  
(Ayeka's place)   
*everyone has calmed down some, and is trying to figure out what's going on*   
  
"So let me get this straight: you're the princess of the Jurai, and this is your palace."   
"Yep, and you're the princess of the planet Bob. ….. And you are Chichiri, a wandering monk, right?"   
"Yes, but I'm also a mage."   
"Really? What sort of magic do you do?"   
  
Just then another person enters the room.   
  
"I never expected the end to be like this. Maybe after the destruction of the Earth, it was rebuilt to what I see before my eyes. ….. Look at these people; they seem so calm, almost as if nothing has even happened."   
"Who are you?"   
"My name is Kamui. I am the Dragon of Earth."   
"You don't really look like a dragon, just a person with wings."   
  
  
  
(Tenchi)   
*Doc Brown has just finished fixing the time machine*   
  
"You have to remember to bring the power level back down to 1.21 jigowatts before you try going back in time again."   
"Are you absolutely sure this thing will work how you say it will."   
"Of course it will. Remember who you're talking to."   
"Yeah whatever, old man…look kid; we don't exactly have time for this good-bye stuff. You need to test this thing out. I don't exactly have a lot of time to make a new one, so hurry up. I need to get to work making this thing the right way."   
"Doubt me if you will; but you'll see, it'll work."   
"Humph."   
"Alright, here it goes."   
  
Trunks waved good-bye as he started up the time machine. In an instant he was gone, leaving behind a huge flash of light. During the trip back he started blacking out, and when he finally came to he found himself at home, in his bed. He got up, wondering if the time machine worked how it was supposed to, and then proceeded to investigate.   
  
"So this is the big day, huh...are you sure this thing is safe?"   
"Yeah, I just have to make one last adjustment."   
"Alright, just promise me you won't do anything stupid, like that bullheaded father of yours."   
"Don't worry; nothing bad is going to happen. I'll make sure of that."   
  



End file.
